Learn the real reasons why some relationships are so complicated and what really matters instead.
Have you ever talked to forgiven people who have been with their partner for a long time about whether they are actually happy with their partner?
Signs its becoming a Relationship
If these people are honest with you, it is very likely that they will reveal to you that they are quite frustrated about who they are actually partnering with. You may even know this about yourself if you just think back to your past partnerships.
- Both of you invest about the same time, money and effort
- You’re less interested in other possible partners. …
- You’ve met your partner’s friends, and they’ve met yours. …
- You can talk about anything. …
- You can be together without having sex. …
- You feel comfortable around them.
- You have future plans
- You have developed a world full of „insiders“
Sure, you have loved your ex-partner: inside sincerely. And yet, despite your feelings of love, there were numerous moments when you were disappointed in him/her.
If you insisted to your friends that they make a list of all the little things that they find extremely disturbing about their partner, this list would be made in no time without any effort. And also you could have at any time, when you were in a partnership, immediately without problems numerous things enumerate, which you would have liked to have changed immediately at your expartner: inside.
For instance, the cruel apartment furnishings that he or she thinks is good. That he or she doesn’t read the same books about astronomy as you do. Or the habit of telling things twice and three times. Such a list can be continued ad infinitum.
The couples stay together. After all, you love each other, somehow. Yet both long for the relationship to be less complicated and for everything to be simpler. It seems almost impossible to have a functioning relationship with the person you love.
What is important in a relationship? And Why are some partnerships so damn complicated?
The reason why the relationship feels so incredibly stressful is because we have a romanticized and exaggerated idea of the supposed „perfect relationship“ in mind.
We have the idea that two people literally merge into one person. There is an expectation that both live together, share the same bed, have the same hobbies, always eat the same food together, get up at the same time and start the day together, only have sex with their partner, regularly see the families and friends of both partners and always have exactly the same thoughts.
At the same time, these ideas are quite far from reality, don’t you think?
Yes, this idea may be incredibly romantic. But if you carry this idea in your head, you put yourself and your own relationship under enormous pressure.
Relationships can also be wonderfully uncomplicated and simple.
What is important in a relationship? The 3 pillars of happiness
A happy and fulfilling relationship is based on the following three pillars.
A loving relationship
Almost all people want a partner who treats them lovingly despite their quirks and idiosyncrasies. Someone who simply accepts you as you are, without wanting to change you.
In a partnership it is indispensable that both can talk openly about their fears and worries. If one of the two has the feeling that he must always present himself as perfect, he will stand in his own way and will not dare to talk about problems or other worries. In a functioning and fulfilling relationship, it is therefore incredibly important that both can show themselves as they are and do not always have to be strong, but are also allowed to show weakness.
Understanding is the be-all and end-all of being able to have a long-term relationship.
With these three pillars, couples will find their relationship fulfilling and loving. Even if there are numerous differences in other areas of living together. On the other hand, if one of these pillars is missing, we will be unhappy. The house we buy together can be as big and beautiful as it is, the interior design as modern as it is, the bank account as full as it is, we are simply not happy. Instead, we feel lonely and abandoned, even though we are in a committed relationship.
When couples focus on what is really important, conflicts over trivialities often fizzle out all by themselves.
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