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You are still a virgin at 30?
Still a virgin at 30 and affects more people than some might think. Sexologist Monika Büchner helps exactly such people.
In her interview with Welt, sexologist Monika Büchner talks about „absolute beginners“ and her therapy, with which she wants to help people. You’re probably wondering what an „absolute beginner“ is and what a sexologist does.
A sexologist helps people who have problems with their sexuality. Using a therapeutic approach, the goal is to help people overcome their problems. Sex therapists often work together with gynecologists or urologists, for example, when women suffer psychologically from their lack of sexual desire and men suffer psychologically from their erectile dysfunction. The normal doctor often cannot help, but the sexologist can.
What to do, when you are still a virgin
Sexologist Monika Büchner also explains when we talk about „absolute beginners“. These are people who have not yet had sexual intercourse beyond the age of 25. However, this does not mean by any means that these people „have not gotten off.“
She comments on this as follows: „This is an absolute misconception.“ Many of her clients are good-looking and very charismatic. Büchner clarifies that often childhood plays an important role. „It’s often the case that ‚Absolute Beginners‘ come from families where sex was taboo. Their parents taught them that sex was not good and something abhorrent.“
Still beeing a virging
While most are testing themselves out and exploring their sexuality in their adolescence, these are exactly the things that an „absolute beginner“ has to catch up on at an older age. He must first learn how to communicate with a partner.
Also, many don’t know how important touch is in a relationship and the tremendous importance it has in arousing. 75 percent of „absolute beginners“ are men. This very high number can be explained, among other things, by the fact that women more often have good friends with whom they talk about their problems.
Büchner explains her approach during a therapy session. For many of her clients, being touched, even in a non-sexual sense, is a major problem. Sexologist Buechner says, „For some clients, for example, just being touched on the arm is a challenge.“
A virgin with no experience
The main point here is to find out what clients feel and sense when they are touched in this way. People should learn that touching is something quite natural and that sexuality and also masturbation are completely legitimate.
In addition, sexologist Monika Büchner also tries to get her clients to meet people. Since many lack contact with the opposite sex, she recommends taking part in dance classes and sports clubs. This gives people the opportunity to make contact with the opposite sex.
Get a coaching as an absolute beginner
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